Marriage is a Private Affair

Marriage is a Private Affair Symbols, Allegory and Motifs

Mutilated Wedding Picture (Symbol)

The cut-up wedding picture of Nene and Nnaemeka is a symbol of Okeke's stubborn refusal to accept Nene as his son's wife. Even though Okeke does not approve of their marriage, Nene and Nnaemeka send Okeke a photograph of the couple on their wedding day, believing that he will reverse his position. To show his sustained contempt for their union, Okeke cuts Nene's figure out of the picture of the couple and mails it back. Nene cries when she sees the mutilated image, not having anticipated that the old man's disdain for her could be so strong.

Herbalist's Medicine (Symbol)

The herbalist's medicine is a symbol of loyalty. Midway through the story, Okeke's fellow villagers commiserate with him about his son's decision to marry for love. The men discuss how Okeke ought to hire a native doctor herbalist to prepare Amalile, a medicine that supposedly induces cheating husbands to return their loyalty to their wives. Okeke is opposed to the idea, citing the example of Mrs. Ochuba, a woman who tried out the Amalile by feeding it to the herbalist instead of her husband, a change which resulted in the herbalist's death. Ultimately, the knowledge of his grandsons causes Okeke to regret his rejection of his family, showing how the grandsons bring about familial loyalty in Okeke in the same way Amalile is said to promote loyalty in men.

Storm (Symbol)

The storm at the end of "Marriage is a Private Affair" symbolizes Okeke's emotional state. A storm is first mentioned in relation to Okeke's emotions when Nnaemeka insists that Nene is the only woman he can marry and Nnaemeka expects his father will unleash a storm of anger. That storm doesn't come, as Okeke instead recedes from his son physically and emotionally. The storm finally arrives at the end of the story, after Okeke learns that he has grandsons. However, the sudden appearance of a storm in the sky coincides not with Okeke's anger but with his sorrow and regret. Achebe writes that "it was one of those rare occasions when even Nature takes a hand in a human fight," implying that the heavy rains help convince Okeke that he needs to give up his opposition to his son's marriage. With the rain beating down on his roof, Okeke is distracted in his attempt at humming a hymn by the mental image of his grandsons standing outside, shut out of his house. Okeke cannot bear to think of himself inflicting this rejection upon his grandsons. He goes to sleep full of remorse for his behavior, hoping he will live long enough to make it up to the boys. In this way, the storm represents the love and affection Okeke has needed to hold back to sustain his obstinate disapproval of his son's choice to marry for love.