Marriage is a Private Affair

Marriage is a Private Affair Summary and Analysis of Paragraphs 53 – 64

Summary

Six months pass and the narrative point of view returns to Nnaemeka, who has received a short letter from his father. He shows the letter to Nene, whom he has married. In the letter, Nnaemeka’s father expresses amazement that his son did something as cruel as sending him their wedding photograph. Nnaemeka’s father says he was going to send it back, but instead decided to cut Nene out of the picture and send that back because Nnaemeka’s father has “nothing to do with her.” He says he wishes he had nothing to do with Nnaemeka either.

Nene reads the letter and looks at the mutilated picture. Her eyes fill with tears. Nnaemeka tells her not to cry, saying that his father is essentially good-natured and will eventually accept their marriage. Despite Nnaemeka’s assurance, years pass with Nnaemeka’s father Okeke refusing to have anything to do with his son. Nnaemeka continues to write to his father, asking to stay with him during his leave, but Okeke replies that he can’t have Nnaemeka in his house and that it is of no interest to him where or how Nnaemeka spends his leave or his life.

The narrator comments that the prejudice against Nene and Nnaemeka’s marriage is not confined to Nnaemeka’s father’s village. Women from Nnaemeka’s village who work in Lagos show their disapproval for Nene not through hostility but by treating Nene with excessive politeness and respect as a way to make her feel she is not one of them. However, as time passes Nene breaks through their prejudice and makes friends with some of the women. Eventually, the women grudgingly admit that Nene keeps her home much better than most of them.

In time, the story of Nene and Nnaemeka’s happy marriage travels back to Nnaemeka’s father’s village in the heart of Ibo country. Nnaemeka’s father, however, hears nothing about the happy couple because he always grows so angry when his son’s name is mentioned that villagers learn to avoid speaking Nnaemeka’s name in the man’s presence. The narrator comments that it takes the man tremendous effort and a strain that nearly kills him, but he succeeds in pushing his son to the back of his mind. He perseveres and wins.

One day Okeke receives a letter from Nene. In spite of his prejudice, Okeke glances at it casually. Suddenly his expression changes and he reads more carefully, learning that Nene and Nnaemeka have two sons who insist on meeting their grandfather. Nene says she finds it impossible to tell them that Okeke will not see the boys. She asks that he allow Nnaemeka to bring them to visit Okeke during his leave next month, adding that she will stay in Lagos.

Okeke feels the stubborn resolution he had built over the years falling in. He tells himself not to give in, steeling himself against emotional appeals. He leans against a window and looks at the sky, which is overcast with heavy black clouds. A high wind blows, filling the air with dust and leaves. The narrator comments that it is “one of those rare occasions when even Nature takes a hand in a human fight.” The first rain of the year begins to fall in large sharp drops, following by the thunder and lightning that mark a change in season.

Okeke tries not to think of his grandsons, but he knows he is fighting a losing battle. He tries to hum a favorite hymn but the sound is drowned out by the pattering of rain on the roof. His mind returns to the children, and he asks himself how he could shut his door against them. He pictures them shut out of his house, standing under the angry weather.

The story ends with Okeke going to sleep that night. He has difficulty sleeping because he is full of remorse and a vague fear that he will die before he has the opportunity to make it up to his grandsons.

Analysis

Toward the end of the story, the narrative point of view briefly returns to Lagos, where Nnaemeka and Nene have received a letter from Okeke. In the letter, Okeke makes his obstinacy clear by explaining how he cut up the wedding photograph they sent him. The mutilated photo, symbolic of Okeke’s obstinate refusal to recognize the validity of their marriage and his continued intention to have “nothing to do with” Nene, causes Nene to weep. Nnaemeka reassures her that his father will have a change of heart, but Nnaemeka continues to underestimate his father’s capacity for contempt.

The narrative point of view returns to Okeke in the village. Nnaemeka periodically writes to his father to suggest a visit, but Okeke insists he cannot let him into his home. While Nnaemeka had earlier believed it was possible to continue his split identity, traveling between the city and the village, Okeke keeps his son at a distance, refusing to let Nnaemeka get away with his betrayal.

Okeke’s prejudice is not confined to the village. Ibo people who encounter Nene in Lagos treat her with a performative deference, being overly polite so as to make her feel she is not one of them. However, Nene matches Okeke’s obstinacy, refusing to let his rejection of her bring her down. Eventually, Nene wins the Ibo women over, and they admit she keeps a good home. While people in the village know Nene and Nnaemeka to be a happy couple, Okeke insulates himself from having to think about them by reacting in childish anger whenever his son’s name is mentioned. Having effectively erasing their existence from his sphere of awareness, Okeke believes he has triumphed over the couple. However, he does not realize that he is setting himself up for a shock.

The shock arrives in a simple letter from Nene. Despite himself, Okeke glances over her words, which mention the existence of his grandsons, who would like to meet him. In all his years of stubborn resentment, it had not occurred to Okeke that Nene and Nnaemeka would have children. In the same moment he learns of his grandsons, a storm comes to the village, pelting Okeke’s roof with rain. Although he tries to hum a hymn to ignore the emotions breaking through his hardened resolve, the sound of the rain is too great.

The storm makes it impossible for Okeke to ignore the feeling of familial affection any longer. In an image that symbolizes his callousness, Okeke imagines his grandsons standing in the rain, shut out of his home. Okeke realizes then that it was wrong of him to reject his family. He goes to sleep that night hoping he will have the opportunity to make it up to his grandsons. However, in an instance of situational irony, he fears that his epiphany has come too late and that he may die before he has the chance to make amends.