Part of getting to know yourself is to un-know yourself - to let go of the limiting stories you've told yourself about who you are so that you aren't trapped by them, so you can live your life not the story you've been telling yourself about your life.
In this observation, Gottlieb contends that we all have beliefs about ourselves that limit our potential and our quality of life. In the same way that we complain about the pre-judgements of other upon us, we also pre-judge ourselves and tell ourselves outdated opinions that prevent us from moving forward or changing in any way. An example of this would be a person who has until this point been reluctant to go out and meet someone new because they have convinced themselves that they are better off alone. What they actually mean is that they have previously been better off alone, but this does not necessarily mean that this is still the case. By being open to constantly changing the way in which we view ourselves we are able to get to know ourselves anew as we progress through our lives and use our experiences to constantly extend the person we have the potential to become.
Follow your envy - it shows you what you want.
We are led to believe that envy is a horrible trait. We should be happy for others who have achieved what we want, not envious of their success. Gottlieb contends that actually, envy is a wonderful motivational tool when harnessed correctly. Envy is not just a negative emotion, it is also a positive one, with a directional arrow attached to it. After all, we are not likely to be envious of something that we don't want for ourselves. If our idea of a perfect retirement is a lounger on a beach somewhere we are unlikely to be envious of someone who has retired to a house in the woods, or an urban apartment. What we are envious of is a road map of where we want to be and this helps us to identify who we are, what we want and who we need to become in order to accomplish it.
