- Shannon McFarland, The Narrator and former fashion model, now disfigured by a mysterious gunshot injury. She goes by many various names throughout the book, most notably Daisy St. Patience and Bubba-Joan.
- Brandy Alexander, Queen Supreme, aka Princess Princess—A transgender woman whom the narrator meets in the hospital shortly after her own mysterious gunshot injury. Brandy encourages Narrator to hide her disfigurement and attempt to live a new lifestyle.
- Manus Kelley—Narrator's ex-fiancé, an ex-police officer. He goes by many different names throughout the book.
- Evelyn "Evie" Cottrell—Narrator's former best friend, also a fashion model.
- The Rhea Sisters—Three male drag queens who Brandy describes as being family. They dote on her and pay for all of her surgeries.
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