Bark: Stories Characters

Bark: Stories Character List

Ira, “Debarking”

The first thing the reader learns about Ira is that he has been divorced for six months but still wears his wedding ring. His Catholic friends invite him to share Lent dinner to which they have invited a divorced female friend named Zora. Despite the title, there are no stories in this collection specifically about dogs, but Ira is trying his best to take corrective steps inspired by his ex-wife’s insistence that he “barks” at people too much.

Robin Ross, “The Juniper Tree”

This story opens with the first-person narrator recalling the night Robin Ross lay dying in a hospital. She suffers from a brain tumor which presses harshly upon her skull. It turns out that this particular night would be the last one that Robin lay dying in the hospital because it was also the night she finally succumbed. But the narrator doesn’t find this out until later because instead going to visit her as planned, she instead goes out drinking with a man that Robin had once dated before the narrator and he started going out.

Bake McKurty, “Foes”

Arguably the most unusually named character in this collection, Bake McKurty is the author of a biography of George Washington that did not exactly top the best-seller lists. As the story begins, Bake and his wife Suzy are preparing to use two free tickets they received to a $500-a-plate fundraiser dinner in Georgetown. Unfortunately, it means the clever Bake will be forced to mingle with the type of people who sincerely reply “Really” to his assertion that he won the Nobel Prize in 2001 when nobody was really paying attention during the shadow of the 9/11 attacks.

KC & Dench, “Wings”

Like Simon & Garfunkel or Loggins & Messina or Rodgers & Hammerstein, KC and Dench are a musical duo in which one-half is doing all the heavy lifting and the other half is basically just enjoying the ride. Just before turning pro, Dench’s entire repertoire was basically two songs by Ryan Adams who is not, apparently, a type meant to read Bryan Adams. One of the interesting things about KC relative to her story being in this collection is that she is the only character who actually owns a dog that barks and has anything even remotely related to a major role.

The Biker, “Thank You for Having Me”

This story features a first-person divorced female narrator and her daughter, Nickie as well as a bride named Maria. Despite this, the most interesting character in the story is the most unusual leader of a biker gang you may ever come across. He interrupted Maria’s wedding with three gunshots fired into the air only to realize he’s at the wrong wedding. He was looking for Caitlin’s wedding, becomes extremely apologetic for his mistake, and kicks things off after the firing the gun by launching into a tirade of justification and rationalization for why his intrusion is not to be considered an act of illegality. Among the rationales is an echo of Dan White’s “Twinkie defense” for murdering Harvey Milk in cold blood.

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