Wayside School is Falling Down Metaphors and Similes

Wayside School is Falling Down Metaphors and Similes

Graffiti

One the back of one of Mrs. Jewl’s students’ paper is a bit of anti-teacher graffiti. The student, Bebe, denies authorship and lays the blame firmly at the hands of her brother, Ray. In fact, Bebe even goes so as to assert she actually enjoys odor which emanates from her teacher:

“MRS. JEWLS IS AS FAT AS A HIPPOPOTAMUS!

(AND SHE SMELLS LIKE ONE, TOO.)”

Bebe is a Bad, Bad Girl

After Bebe reads a report which was supposed to be about George Washington, but actually was about how Mrs. Jewls lies like Washington never did, the teacher is moved to action. That night she places a call to Bebe’s mom to let her know the reality of the situation going on with her children:

“I think you’re being unfair to Bebe. I think she often gets into trouble when really Ray is to blame…Yes. I know you think he’s a perfect angel, but some children can be angels on the outside and devils underneath.”

Bebe’s mother is moved by this metaphorical assault on her supposed perfect little son by asking the question of Mrs. Rawls which provides the punch line to this entire interlude: “Who’s Ray?”

The New Kid

Why is there this tradition of making the new kid stand up in front of a room full of total strangers to tell them about themselves? It seems a particularly cruel tradition that almost exists expressly for the purpose humiliation. Mrs. Jewls doubles that humiliation by initially introducing a new student named Benjamin Nushmutt as Mark Miller. Benjamin’s simile really seems to nail the whole concept:

“It was as if Mrs. Jewls had brought him in for show-and-tell.”

Philosophizing

Almost most use of metaphor in the book is kept down toward the lower end of the poetic spectrum, occasionally things do take off into flights of more sophisticated fancy. Such as conversation in which chalk becomes a metaphor for love:

“Love is different from most things…If I gave my piece of chalk to someone, then I wouldn’t have it anymore. But when I give my love to someone, I end up with more love than I started with. The more love you give away, the more you have left.”

No Nice Teachers

Another bit of philosophizing is less fanciful than the example above and more in keeping with the fundamental worldview of students. Despite the occasional and myriad ways in which the dichotomy can be upended, the basic rule of the relationship between teacher and student is that it is oppositional in nature. This can be hard to remember sometimes, so keep this in mind:

“Inside every nice teacher there is a mean and rotten teacher bursting to get out. The nicer the teacher is on the outside, the meaner the teacher inside is.”

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