- Adam Fenwick-Symes, an aspiring novelist
- Nina Blount, his on-and-off fiancée
- Ginger Littlejohn, eventual husband of Nina
- Colonel Blount, eccentric father of Nina
- The Drunken Major
- Lottie Crump, owner of a private hotel, said to be based on Rosa Lewis
- Agatha Runcible, wild party girl
- Simon Balcairn, depressive gossip columnist
- Miles Maitland, gay partygoer
- Margot Maitland, society hostess and procuress
- Mrs Melrose Ape, American evangelist, said to be based on Aimee Semple McPherson
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