This Is How You Lose Her Themes

This Is How You Lose Her Themes

Infidelity

The main theme in this book is the theme of infidelity. From the beginning to the end, all the characters in the book are involved in cheating and having multiple lovers. Even Yunior, who at the beginning of the book seems to have the potential to change and have decent relationships, fails to do so. Instead, he cheats on his girlfriends who then leave him alone, suffering from the breakups. He wants to change, to become a better lover, but finds it impossible to do so.

His brother has a lot of influence on Yunior, and possibly that is why Yunior cannot change his behavior with his girlfriends; his brother influences him to cheat and be disrespectful to them. His father, his friends; all of them cheat, so Yunior finds it the normal thing to do, even that deep down he knows that this isn't the life he wants to live. Unfortunately, he doesn't escape from cheating and ends up finding that he will suffer forever for the girl that left him six years ago.

Friends in relationships

Since the beginning, we see how friends affect each other's relationships. It is common for boys to ask their friends about potential new girlfriends; only after their approval, they can go on and start communicating with these girls. It is common also to ask friends what to do when things are not going as they should, and this is what Yunior does numerous times. However, occasionally he doesn't follow these advices as if to show that he is different from all the other persons that surround him. Often friends become a barrier to relationships, like when Magda's friends tell her not to go back with Yunior after he cheats on her. She is undecided at the beginning and Yunior tries to convince her he will not cheat on her again, but her friends tell her otherwise and at the end, they win.

Emigrants

All the stories in the book describe emigrants, who moved to the US from places such as the Dominican Republic, Columbia and so on. The process of leaving their home countries and moving elsewhere has shaped all their characters. We can see how immigration shaped Yunior's mother character. She had friends, she used to visit them every day and talk even about the smallest things. After moving to the US, she becomes lonely, without anyone to talk except her sons and husband. She cant speak English, and this further isolates her and she creates a mental barrier between her house and the outside world. We see how immigration shaped Rafa's character as well. He mistreats his girlfriends, he doesn't go to school regularly, he has problems with the law, he fights and so on. We can see how the other emigrants treat their girlfriends as well, they constantly cheat on them.The only one that seems to deal best with the emotional problems of immigrating is Yunior, who goes to school, finds American friends and so on. Still, he can't escape other problems such as cheating and disrespecting his girlfriends.

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