The Crocodile (excerpt)
No animal is half as vile
As Crocky-Wook, the crocodile.
On Saturdays he likes to crunch
Six juicy children for his lunch
And he especially enjoys
Just three of each, three girls, three
boys
He smears the boys (to make them
hot)
With mustard from the mustard pot.
Mike Teevee (excertp)
The most important think we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set -
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week, in someone's place, we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
Hot and Cold (excerpt)
A woman who my mother knows
Came in and took of all her clothes.
Said I, not being very old,
"By golly gosh, you must be cold!"
Goldie Pinklesweet
So out she creeps. She shuts the door
And Goldie, after making sure
That she is really by herself,
Goes quickly to the medicine shelf,
And there, her little greedy eyes
See pills of every shape and size,
Such faschinating colors too -
Some green, some pink, some brown,
Some blue.
The Pig (excerpt)
In England once there lived a big
A wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain
That Piggy had a massive brain
He worked out sums inside his head,
There was no book he hadn't read.
He knew what made an airplane fly,
He knew how engines worked, and why.
He knew all this, but in the end
One question drove him round the bend.
He simply couldn't puzzle out
What LIFE was really all about.
