Irony of Loyalty
As a boy, Dave feels an intense attachment to his family of origin, especially his mother who abused him severely. His feelings of loyalty interfere with his ability to trust others, especially when he learns his testimony will be used against his mother. That he should feel so much loyalty toward someone who inspired such fear and pain is bitterly ironic, particularly since it was an undeserved loyalty that hampered Dave's personal growth and recovery from abuse.
Irony of Survival Skills
While growing up with his mother, Dave developed skills that helped him survive in an extremely abusive and abnormal environment. These habits included stealing, particularly stealing food to eat because he was not being fed. They also included lying and covering up evidence of abuse, which was regarded as the family secret. Yet these survival skills work against Dave when he finally escapes his mother and is placed in foster care as a ward of the state. A child who lies, steals, manipulates, and hides evidence of abuse is extremely difficult to help or to keep in even a well managed and structured home.
Irony of Blame
The most painful and vicious irony in the book is related to blame. Having been told for years that the abuse he endures at his mother's hands is appropriate and justified, Dave truly believes he is somehow a "bad" boy. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when he acts out and is disciplined or shunned for it, and even Dave's mother attempts to convince his foster mother that Dave is the root cause of all the problems in the family. She, the adult who was in control well enough to regularly abuse her son and cover up the evidence, is completely unwilling to accept responsibility for her own disgusting conduct. She shifts the blame instead onto her victim who accepts it simply because he doesn't know any better.
Irony of Family Search
Throughout the book, Dave moves from one foster home to another. Sometimes, after settling in and becoming attached to a home or a neighborhood, he is forced to leave and join another family for reasons that have nothing to do with him. It is only as an adult, when he has a son of his own, that Dave finally feels as though he has a family. Yet by this time he is no longer a child in need of one, but a man who is providing for his own child the kind of love, safety, and stability he so desperately needed himself as a youth.
Irony of Rejection
Stigmatized as a "F-child" and forced to carry his clothing and belongings in a garbage bag, Dave is rejected by many of the children and adults he encounters. He does not personally have many of the bad traits that fit the stereotype, but is punished in advance by people who are prejudiced against foster children. Having entered the foster care system in part due to unjustified bad treatment by his own parents, Dave encounters more irrational and unreasonable rejection from complete strangers. This feeds into his low sense of self-worth and causes him to wonder whether there really is something wrong with him that justifies such poor treatment from people who have never even met him.
