So Long a Letter

So Long a Letter Summary and Analysis of Chapters 17—21

Summary

Ramatoulaye announces that she is finished with her reminiscing, and apologizes if this has opened a wound for Assiatou, and admits that her wound still bleeds, even after Modou’s passing. She acknowledges that the path of life, not to talk of marriage, is rarely smooth. Owning up to her own faults, Ramatoulaye recalls that she gave more than she received from the start and that she has never felt comfortable without being part of a couple, which she understands is in contrast to Assiatou’s view that women should live liberated.

She tells Assiatou that she loved the house she lived in, that she made her peace with Modou’s family, and that she was able to raise their children. But still, she tries to pinpoint weaknesses within herself, and despite everything, she remains faithful to the man she has loved since she was young and cries for him, against her will.

Moving back to the present, Ramatoulaye shares that she celebrated the fortieth day of Modou’s death, as is traditional, and that she has forgiven him. After finishing the ceremony, Tamsir appears in her house, bringing Mawdo with him and the imam from the mosque in his area. Confidently, Tamsir tells Ramatoulaye that when she has “come out” (finished mourning) that he will take her as one of his wives, and that as she is his “good luck,” he will marry her.

Ramatoulaye, who has avoided speaking her mind for thirty years, finally speaks out, her voice “violent, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes contemptuous.” She reprimands him for his obvious ploy to get in before any other suitor can approach her and for forgetting that she is not an object to be passed from man to man. She calls out that his income cannot meet the needs of his wives or his children, that his wives all work while he remains lazy. She refuses to be the fourth, to offer up her house as a place of refuge, and mocks him for his pride in the face of Daba and her husband buying up all of Modou’s properties after his death. Despite being told to stop, she concludes by saying that Tamsir should stop dreaming since she will never be his wife.

After Tamsir, Ramatoulaye is pursued by Daouda Dieng, her old suitor that she refused in favor of Modou. Aging better than Modou or Mawdo, Daouda is socially successful without being arrogant. He is a member of the National Assembly, and is still charming when he comes to visit her after the forty days of initial mourning. Ramatoulaye asks after his life and engages him in banter, and then political conversation as she pushes him on the political conditions in Senegal, particularly the rights of women and the lack of their advancement in the government despite Senegal having been independent for more than two decades.

During the conversation, Daouda is imagining what Ramatoulaye would be like as a wife, but Ramatoulaye is rediscovering her rebellious nature, and her mind is focused on the political. They talk until late into the night, after which he returns home, while Ramatoulaye wonders what he will tell his wife when she asks where he’s been. Lucky for her (and unluckily for Daouda), her maternal aunts prevent them from having much alone time when he comes back the next day. As Friday comes, Ramatoulaye thinks about the housewife while she bathes. While she and Assiatou have long disdained women who choose to stay at home, Ramatoulaye admits that they were wrong and there is something to be admired about the women who work hard to keep their homes clean and in order and that there is a kind of pride in doing that work. She is restless, however, because of Daouda’s visit.

Daouda comes and peppers her with questions much like she did to him at the beginning of their most recent meeting, and sends one of her young sons, Ousmane, off with a picture book. After briefly talking a bit of politics and the future of the country, Daouda admits that he has heard that Ramatoulaye has turned down Tamsir, and offers his hand in marriage. Ramatoulaye is left in a bit of a stupor, while Daouda leaves to hear her response the next day.

Her stupor is interrupted by her neighbor, the griot woman Farmata. Ramatoulaye confirms that she was correct in her predictions about the “man in double trousers,” to which she responds with delight and an assurance that their destinies are linked. In light of this admission, Ramatoulaye reflects on how little she actually thinks of Farmata, and how her predictions fail to capture the difficulty of love.

Ramatoulaye reflects on Daouda’s offer. She says that it would have been wonderful had she been moved to want to marry him, but ultimately her heart isn’t in it. She sends Farmata to him with a letter that admits that she holds him in high esteem but cannot bring herself to make his union polygamous, in light of what she knows of it. She offers her friendship instead. Daouda responds to her letter with a handful of money and a note that simply says “All or nothing.”

Farmata returns to Ramatoulaye, furious, both with what she believes to be a stupid decision on Ramatoulaye’s part and with the fact that she had to act as the messenger for such bad news. She curses Ramatoulaye, telling her that she’ll never find happiness and that she ruins her own luck while praising Daouda for being a true gentleman. Again, Ramatoulaye finds herself going against the grain to stand up for what she believes in, and comments that, like loneliness, she wears it well. After this, Ramatoulaye is swamped by suitors, most of whom are interested in the large inheritance that has been secured for her by her daughter Daba, and her son-in-law. Binetou and her mother try to benefit from their largesse, but Daba, who remembers the betrayal orchestrated by Binetou’s mother, refuses.

Analysis

Turning to the present reveals that even after Modou's death, Ramatoulaye still deals with the hurt Modou caused her. For both friends, their independence was not necessarily something they intentionally looked for, but instead was something that they had to take for themselves. Ramatoulaye's refusal to blame Modou entirely also reveals her own traditional views of how marriage should work.

For her, it is her fault that she gave more than she received, and she looks for ways to blame herself for what happened. Her love of Modou conflicts with her understanding that she was wronged, demonstrating how questions of love and women's liberation are difficult and how women can both want advancement and still have complicated relationships with the men in their lives. This imperfect independence shows itself in the confrontation Ramatoulaye has with Tamsir. Angry, Ramatoulaye's newfound independence bursts out of her in a rude, mocking rejection of his offer of marriage.

While her reprimands are fair, Ramatoulaye is being petty, wanting a sort of revenge for Tamsir's thoughtless announcement of Modou's second marriage years before. She is also going against societal expectations, both by refusing her brother-in-law's protection and by being so disrespectful in front of the local imam. But this almost-violent break shows yet again how difficult and messy achieving one's personal independence can be.

Ramatoulaye's conflict with tradition and the role of the woman in marriage does not stop there. Her musing on the role of the housewife represents a maturing in her thinking about women. Before, Ramatoulaye dismissed housework as unenlightened, but in hindsight, she realizes that there is value in housework, and that devaluing the work that women traditionally do is wrong, just like it's wrong to deny women education. This passion for women is what actually draws her to Daouda, who she feels can be someone with whom she can talk politics. However, Daouda, like Tamsir, is only interested in marrying her. Despite her best efforts, the men in Ramatoulaye's life remain focused on how the women in their lives can benefit them, often thinking of them as little more than replaceable objects.

A female keeper of tradition, however, appears in the griot woman Farmata. Her initial joy and then scathing disappointment with Ramatoulaye after she rejects Daouda's offer represents a traditional woman's view of African society. For Farmata, Ramatoulaye's fundamental objection to polygamy makes no sense because love and support is not her first concern in marriage. But Ramatoulaye comes to understand that her independence means loneliness as well, adding yet another layer to an already complex situation. But she remembers how lonely the years without Modou were, so she feels no need to enter into another marriage.