Mother to Mother

Mother to Mother The Importance of Naming in Mother to Mother

In Xhosa culture and language, the naming process holds a lot of cultural significance. The practice of choosing the name of a child is sacred, as the name will give the child something to aspire to for the rest of their life. In Xhosa society, items that have positive connotations are often used as names so that they might positively affect the life of the child being named. Often, names signify expectations or aspirations parents had for their children. This message can be clear or indirect. Other times, the names will be chosen in such a way as to show gratitude to God or the ancestors. Finally, names are also often chosen in order to express the joy of the family at the arrival of the newborn.

Not only are names significant, but people are often also referred to by reference to their family members—in particular, their children or parents. Mandisa, for example, was also referred to as Mama kaSiziwe (Mother of Siziwe) by Dwadwa. This naming based upon one's role in their family helps enforce the family structure in society. It transforms the relationship into one's whole identity. In a novel like Mother to Mother, which examines the relationship between a mother and her child, this naming practice can hold a particular import. A message of the novel is that once a person becomes a mother, their life is irrevocably changed to accommodate that fact. Community elders are also often given the labels of family members, as seen with Nonjayikjali/ Tat'uNonkayikhali. Tata is the Xhosa word for father. Many people in the community called this elder Tat'uNonkayikhali, even though he did not have a wife or children.

With this cultural context in mind, the naming processes outlined in the novel can be better understood. When Nono's clan names her and Khaya's child while Khaya's mother was out of town, she takes offense at the practice. She believes that her family should have been more involved in the naming process of the baby. Furthermore, the name they choose—Nobulmko, meaning mother of wisdom—is interpreted as a slight against Mama, who did not react to Nono's pregnancy very well. It implied "that we had dealt with Nono's family in a manner sly and underhanded, clever or wise in the unsavory meaning of the word" (84). Therefore we see that even a name with apparently positive connotations can be interpreted in many different ways by those who know the context of the child's birth. It also shows that the naming of a newborn is an important process that the extended family of a child hopes to be involved in, as the name holds great significance for the child's life.

Mxolisi's name and how he got it is also significant. When Mxolisi is born, his mother names him Hlumelo, which means sprig, "for even though I would be lying if I said his birth had been a cause for celebration, something that brought me pride, still I saw and thought and felt, that from him good things might come" (91). She especially looked toward her future grandchildren, thinking that life could still come from so much shame and pain. Also like a sprig, it was "unexpected and unasked for, nonetheless in full existence now... he had to be acknowledged" (91). Although Mandisa is attached to this name, her mother does not respect it, and chooses to call the baby Michael. China's family also rejects the fact that the name was chosen without their input. They are the ones who decide that the baby should be named Mxolisi, meaning he who would bring peace.