". . .The way you overpronounced your words and insisted on correcting everyone whose subjects and verbs didn't agree made black folk in Jackson think we had plenty of lunch money."
Laymon addresses his mother in this book. He recalls how her insistence on proper grammar and good impressions led to his own suffering in school. His peers bullied him for his family's perceived snobbery, resulting in just the opposite of his mom's intention. She had hoped to prepare Laymon for a life of greater privilege by raising him to behave more educated than his peers, but they still live in a community which does not respects her methods.
"When I was scared, I ran to cakes, because cakes felt safe, private and celebratory."
Laymon chronicles his struggle with weight at length. He remembers when he first turned to food to satisfy his need for safety and approval. In this exchange, however, he realized how he was using food as a coping mechanism for his own dilemma of self-worth.
"There was too much at stake to ask questions, to be dumb, to be a curious student, in the front of a room of white folk who assumed all black folk were intellectually less than them."
Laymon was a passive student, contenting himself with fulfilling expectations. He was not eager to embrace the natural spotlight which his ethnic background demanded. Doubtless because of his mom's expectations for him, he remains keenly aware of his position as representative of black communities in the university.
". . . Controlling that number on the scale, more than writing a story or essay or feeling loved or making money or having sex, made me feel less gross, and most abundant."
Laymon finds renewed vigor when he starts losing weight. Managing his health gives him a sense of true control and value. He begins to regain his autonomy and self-worth through health more than through any of the other places he's tried to find those things.
