Chemiscry

Due to a series of clerical errors, there is exactly one typo (an extra letter, a removed letter, or an altered letter) in the name of every department at the University of Chicago. Oops! Describe your new intended major. Why are you interested in it and what courses or areas of focus within it might you want to explore? Potential options include Commuter Science, Bromance Languages and Literatures, Pundamentals: Issues and Texts, Ant History... a full list of unmodified majors ready for your editor’s eye is available here.


Chemiscry is the study of what makes chemists cry tears of sorrow and joy. Students must complete the Proton Course and the Electron Course in order to receive their Bachelor of Science in Chemiscry. Additionally, they must fulfill the core requirements and earn the remaining elective credits.

Freshmen and sophomores begin with the Electron Course, which surveys gross malpractice in chemistry and how to avoid it. The class is taught in a typical lecture-style. Transgressions such as the following cause spontaneous lacrimation in any respected Chemiscry professor:

· unitless answers
· disregard of significant figures
· the use of PV=nRT for a liquid or solid substance
· the application of the Henderson-Hasselbalch equation to a non-buffer system

Juniors and seniors advance to the Proton Course, which surveys significant successes in chemistry and how to achieve them. The class begins with a historical synopsis of advances in chemistry. Students then engage in laboratory research. Achievements such as the following cause spontaneous lacrimation in any invested Chemiscry student:

· preservation of cells through the entire duration of an experiment
· mastery of the conditions needed to make a substance behave ideally
· identification...

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