The author explores the idea of love in the context of its history, meaning, classification, tenets, and cultural dimensions. She aims to revive the meaning of love through the lens of the modern landscape and away from traditional notions. Through her personal experiences and philosophical ideologies, hooks explores the androcentric view of love. The meaning of love has long been defined by outmoded gender roles and patriarchal perspectives. As such, hooks wrote the book to make a point against the imbalance in male-female relationships when it comes to romantic love.
In the book, she emphasizes the unfair expectations where men are taught not to value love while women embrace it. Thus, while women remain open and susceptible to it they suffer from their love never becoming reciprocated on the same level. Subsequently, the fear of rejection and pain breeds the need to change oneself or have low expectations about love. She stresses that both men and women follow this concept of love that fosters lying and putting on a mask. Through the chapters, hooks delve into the different aspects of love to teach the readers how to retrain our brains. The notions absorbed since childhood dictate how we interact with people we are in love with either romantic or otherwise. Components including trust, commitment, affection, respect, care, and recognition make love an act of doing and not a noun. Therefore, if everyone agrees with this fact then we can redefine the meaning of love and embrace it again in a new way.
Furthermore, hooks insist that romantic love is not necessarily the ultimate form of love as society has made it. She argues that the same aspects that make romantic love healthy and fulfilling apply to other relationships. As she asserts, “To love well is the task in all meaningful relationships, not just romantic bonds.” The book demonstrates love from a cultural point of view to define the universal definition of love that we should embrace. By addressing love and loss from the private sphere hooks affirm that love is the foundation to cure the social issues. Kirkus Reviews wrote, “A spiritual handbook, weighty with platitudes, yet refreshed with some thoughtful analyses that offer seekers a way to explore love’s meaning, or meaninglessness.”
