This Boy's Life: A Memoir Themes

This Boy's Life: A Memoir Themes

Family dysfunction

This story deals with the real experiences of the author, Tobias Wolff, and the dysfunction that was inflicted on his family by the mental health issues of the father and mother, and the father's abandonment of them. Rosemary doesn't make the wisest decisions, and it is hard for her not to focus on herself and meeting her own emotional and sexual needs, instead of thinking about her family and putting her son before herself. Therefore, the son acts out, but he needs acceptance, warmth, and justice While there are moments of real familial love, in essence, the family dysfunction happens because they try too much to follow and act in ways that society expects them to.

Men, Masculinity and Violence

The men whom Rosemary attracts are typically somewhat aggressive and violent. She sends signals about her availability that make her an obvious choice for men who are often single because they are unmanaged and abusive. These men include Dwight who almost instantly treats Jack as his mortal enemy or something (at least that's how Jack recalls it). Dwight mistreats Jack and there is violence and bitterness between them. Because Jack resents Dwight's buffoonish violence, he is violent in more crafted, elaborate ways, often stealing.

This novel is essentially a coming-of-age story, which echoes the 'making of a man' (in this case, Jack) and it is because of this, Dwight - who is so fixated on masculinity and what it means to be a 'man' - pushes Jack to be like him. Yet, Dwight almost instantly treats Jack as his mortal enemy or something (at least that's how Jack recalls it). Dwight mistreats Jack and there is violence and a lot of aggressive behavior between them. Because Jack resents Dwight's buffoonish violence, this resorts to him being violent in more crafted ways such as stealing. By imitating Dwight's behavior through such acts, Jack is appealing to what he believes is masculinity and what it means to be a 'man'.

The father figures in this novel also seem emotionally distressed and dysfunctional. This can be found through Dwight's interaction with Jack because he ostracizes and abuses Jack. In turn, this gives him a false sense of superiority and power. To some extent, one can say that this false power is needed for father figures such as Dwight, to cover up their insecurities and inadequacies. Not only this but many of the father figures become obsessed with guns because they believe that possessing such weapons boosts their confidence, and ego and in return, amplifies their masculinity. Again, this could be to cover up their insecurities.

Mental health and depression

These characters are manic when they mate, but then they settle quickly into old patterns of depression. Having changed scenery (which Rosemary does to Toby over and over again, never letting him establish a feeling for home base) and having changed the people in the family system, having tried alone as a single mother and with a litany of unhelpful men, the family has long-established patterns and tendencies toward isolation, resent, and eventually full-blown regret and depression. By the time this reaches its climax, young Tobias is drafted.

Identity

Because he has been surrounded by unfit parenting his whole adolescent life, with a long line of abusive and negative father figures, Toby has become insecure and believes that his identity has always been inferior to others. It is due to such insecurity and a lack of belonging, that Jack becomes infatuated with immoral acts and violence.

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