Hark and listen to the life of a rich lord
Who, while he lived, was like no one else
In bedroom or in court.
The opening lines of the ballad and—surprise—they are not about Sir Gawain. Part of the chivalric tradition surrounding stories of the Knights of the Round Table, it often seems, is that the figure that the title indicates will be the protagonist if not the actual star of the story is…not so much. Eventually, this ballad will get around to relating the story of Sir Gawain’s marriage to Dame Ragnelle, but ultimately it is at least just as much Arthur’s story as it is Gawain’s. Though, it be must be noted, Gawain comes off much more the iconic image of the chivalric knight putting King before all.
The king rode one way, Gawain the other.
And they inquired of both men and women
What it is women desire most.
Hard as it may be to believe, the central question at the heart of this story is: what do women desire? In Part I, Arthur has gotten himself into a bit of a pickle. Too complicated to get expound upon here, suffice to say that if he doesn’t figure out the answer to this question, his days of enjoying unquestioned fealty from the other knights will soon come to an end. Gawain has gotten himself drawn into this pickle by virtue of that fealty and undying loyalty. But, seriously, haven’t men been asking that question of women since long before Arthur and every day since? What are the odds either man will arrive at a satisfactory enough answer to save Arthur from his fate?
King Arthur rode out his gate
The next day into Inglewood.
There he met with a lady.
She was the ugliest creature
That a man ever saw.
As if Arthur’s pickle wasn’t already in enough trouble, it turns out that the answer upon which his original pickled state rests can be answered by this ugly old hag. Or, as she puts it shortly after a rather extensive litany of insult-laden imagery which further confirms that this is truly one ugly lady.
“I advise you to talk with me
For your life is in my hand.
Only I can prevent your death."
The last thing Arthur needs at this point is for the ugliest woman in the world to also be his judge, jury and potential executioner. From her he can learn what women desire most and armed with this knowledge he can extricate himself from the compromised position he’s is in which has led to this mess. There is a catch, however - because, of course, there must always be a catch.
“Grant me, sir king, one thing only.
Then I will promise you your life.
…
You must grant me a knight to wed.
His name is Sir Gawain.”
And here is where the plot gets complicated. It’s bad enough that Arthur got into his unfortunate situation in the first place. Then he compounds it by dragging Gawain into his search for the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything that women desire. Arthur is face with the moral dilemma of sacrificing his most loyal knight just to avoid death. (Where’s Merlin in all this, anyway?) Anyone who wonders how long the moral dilemma will keep Arthur up at night clearly needs to become more familiar with the stories of Camelot.
