The Impossible Knife of Memory Themes

The Impossible Knife of Memory Themes

Paranoia

Hayley and her father exist in a mutual state of paranoia, which makes them largely inaccessible to people who don't have paranoia, who cannot understand its effects. Because of his trauma in Iraq and the emotional abuse of his ex-wife, Hayley's father lives with a heightened awareness of danger and darkness and has learned that he also is capable of doing those things, so he lives in a constant state of paralyzing fear. This is what causes him to use drugs, to escape or cope with the terror. By witnessing her father's lifestyle and understanding that he's being sincere when he demonstrates terror, Hayley has also become paranoid. She looks up to him as her father, so when he reports fear, she believes him. Additionally, Hayley experiences paranoia in her relationship to her father because he's not taking good care of her or himself. She notices this and picks up the slack, often taking care of both of them responsibly. Because of this power inversion, Hayley believes that at any moment everything may fall apart. She knows that she's not very powerful or capable, so she correctly fears the future.

Self-Destructive Behavior

Hayley's dad also indulges in self-destructive behavior. He is depressed, meaning he believes in his body that life ultimately holds bad things for him due to a lack of serotonin in his brain. Because he is disturbed by this belief and doesn't practice hope, he takes this worldview as license to be hateful toward himself. He uses drugs, spends time with violent friends, and neglects to feed and take care of himself. As a result of this self-sabotage, Hayley's father is constantly experiencing himself negatively and blaming himself for not doing a better job, adding to his already long list of problems. The longer the pattern of self-destruction propagates, the more depressed and desperate he becomes until he finally decides to kill himself. Only when he sees his own decisions reflected back at him when Hayley says she'll jump if he does, does he finally understand that he actually has been making some bad decisions but can change and continue.

Sacrificial Love

In a stunning subversion of expectations, Anderson writes her adolescent characters as predominantly loving characters and assigns her adult characters more selfishness. For instance, Hayley's behavior at school is interpreted by her teachers as trouble-making, but they don't understand her value system. Hayley refuses to devote time to anything which doesn't ensure the survival and well-being of her and her father because of the trauma and paranoia which she's experienced in the past in her relationship with her father. She willingly accepts the social stigmas which accompany this refusal -- which include punishment, bullying, shame, and loneliness -- because she is actively loving her father. For his part, her father is not exercising the same selfless care which Hayley extends to him, readily engaging in self-destructive, self-defeating behavior.

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