After Mirtle's incident or in the room of Plaza Hotel?
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I'd have to say that Gatsby's dream dies in the Plaza Hotel when he realizes that no matter what he's accomplished, he cannot gain the one thing he desires....... and that would be Daisy. Gatsby had focused all of his time and attention on the American Dream; the dream that hard work brings wealth, which in turns brings acceptance and opportunity. The incident in the hotel brings Gatsby to the full realization that nothing he accomplishes will bridge the separation in class between he and the woman he loves.