what is jonas worried about specifically related to the ceremony?

At his father's prompting, Jonas recalls all the changes that result each December, beginning with the Ceremony of Ones when all fifty of the children born during the year turn One and are brought to the community stage by Nurturers such as Jonas's father. During this ceremony the Naming occurs, and Jonas's mother reminds him of when Lily had been named and given to their family. Father admits that this year he looked at the list of names ahead of time so that he could call his struggling infant (number Thirty-six) by his real name, Gabriel, which he shortens to Gabe.