The Friends Themes

The Friends Themes

Jealousy for Attention

Phyllisia and her father both demonstrate a need for attention. They're both are simultaneously jealous to be the center of attention and stingy with their approval. For Phyllisia, this looks like her initial rejection of Edith and her constant desire to embarrass Edith by showing off her own family's wealth. Phyllisia doesn't vie for attention in her home, but her father interprets all of her actions through this lens. He deliberately humiliates Phyllisia by bestowing all of his affection and approval on Ruby and his wife, completely ignoring his youngest daughter. His delicate self-esteem is somehow threatened by Phyllisia's headstrong and prideful attitude, so he's constantly trying to punish her by neglecting her. When Phyllisia learns that Edith's family has died or been taken from her, she is compelled by guilt for not having given her friend more attention through such a difficult time. She finally recognizes the value of investing time and attention in people, an experience which she immediately returns home to share with her father. By extension, he is confronted with his own selfish behavior regarding his daughters and decides to make changes.

Inversion of the Parental Power Dynamic

In both Edith's and Phyllisia's families the power dynamic between parents and children has been inverted. This means that the children possess authority over their parents which they should not. This happens to Edith because of the desperation of her dad. Her family is barely holding together in face of illness and poverty. Although she tries her best to care for her siblings and father and to keep them all out of trouble with the government, even dropping out of school, she's only fourteen or fifteen years old. In the end she's just not capable of sustaining such an extreme level of responsibility. When she fails and her siblings are taken away, she also is forced to deal with her dad's death. These experiences are powerful enough to remind Edith how young she is and how unfair her situation has been, despite its necessity. In the Cathy household, the children exercise power over their father simply by vying for attention like all children do. Calvin's personal insecurities cause him to deeply crave attention and thus responds to approval like a child. When Phyllisia notices this, she manipulates Cavlin's friends into persuading him to parent differently. Her scheme works because he changes after talking with him. Phyllisia is suddenly hit with the awful realization that she can in fact control her father by predicting his behavior and strategizing how to secretly make him do what she wants.

Illness and Loss

Another prominent theme in this book is illness and loss. Both Edith and Phyllisia lose parents to unexplained illnesses and both girls must care for their respective parents. Neither one knows whether their parents will survive or not, living in unstable and stressful environments. In order to take care of her dad, Edith drops out of school in eighth grade. She quickly realizes what a luxury education is in light of the importance of keeping her family together, safe and healthy. When their mom becomes ill, Phyllisia and her sister are both tasked with caring for her as much as possible, but they are fortunate enough to have two parents. Although Calvin is a neglectful father, he continues to be able to provide for his family throughout his wife's illness, thus allowing Phyllisia to continue to attend school. Right after school she and Ruby take over the care of their mom. By the end of the book, all three girls have lost a parent. Despite the long illnesses, none of the girls could have predicted the effect of the losses. Their respective families are torn apart in their parents' absence, the result being especially profound for Edith who now is an orphan trying to keep her younger siblings safe with limited resources and an adolescent experience of the world.

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