the diary of a young girl
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The perfect mother would love her without question, serve as a good example, and be consistent in her affection.
On November 7, Anne reports at length a quarrel that happened between herself and her family. Her parents took Margot's side when Margot and Anne fought over a book, and Anne writes tearfully that she feels the pain of her father's judgement all the more because her mother's love is not what Anne wishes it would be.
"I'm the opposite of Mother, so of course we clash. I don't mean to judge her; I
don't have that right. I'm simply looking at her as a mother. She's not a mother
to me -- I have to mother myself. I've cut myself adrift from them. I'm charting
my own course, and we'll see where it leads me. I have no choice, because I can picture what a mother and a wife should be and can't seem to find anything of the sort in the woman I'm supposed to call "Mother."
"They aren't consistent in their treatment of me. One day they say that Anne's a sensible girl and entitled to know everything, and the next that Anne's a silly
goose who doesn't know a thing and yet imagines she's learned all she needs to
know from books! I'm no longer the baby and spoiled little darling whose every
deed can be laughed at. I have my own ideas, plans and ideals, but am unable to articulate them yet.
Oh well. So much comes into my head at night when I'm alone, or during the day when I'm obliged to put up with people I can't abide or who invariably
misinterpret my intentions. That's why I always wind up coming back to my diary -- I start there and end there because Kitty's always patient. I promise her that, despite everything, I'll keep going, that I'll find my own way and choke back my tears. I only wish I could see some results or, just once, receive encouragement from someone who loves me."
The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank http://www.gradesaver.com/the-diary-of-a-young-girl-by-anne-frank/study-guide/section2/