The Color of Water

why does ruth call herself dead

chapter 1 to 5

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Ruth begins her story by telling James that she is "dead". . Rachel began going by "Ruth" in high school, and when she left for New York at age 19 and married a black man, her family mourned her as if she were dead. Ruth reflects: "[Rachel]had to die in order for me, the rest of me, to live."

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http://www.gradesaver.com/the-color-of-water/study-guide/section1/