Raymond Carver: Collected Stories

“…He didn't love me the way you love me…But he loved me….”: A Deconstruction of True Love in “What We Talk About When We Talk As About Love” College

In Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk As About Love”, Mel McGinnins, Teresa, Laura and Nick (the narrator) hold a discussion about love. They attempt to typify love, but, each one of them has a different understanding of what love is. By the end of the story, they still do have an understanding of the concept of love. Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk About When We Talk As About Love” attempts to define and characterize true love; however, the story depicts undecidability due to various mutually exclusive feelings that include: obsession, hate, passion, Death Instinct, and infatuation.

Terri narrates about her previous lover, Ed, who subjected her to domestic violence and still instead that he loved her. Terri says, "He beat me up one night. He dragged me around the living room by my ankles. He kept saying, 'I love you, I love you, you bitch.” Here, violence plays the role of significant love. Even after subjecting her to the violence, Terri insists that he still loved her, in his own way though. However, Mel (who believes in the spirituality of love) argues that the violence does not amount to love and speculates that “Terri's of the kick-me-so-1'11-know-you-love-me school.” This explanation suggests that for a...

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