Indian horse

In Chapter 45, Saul meets Erv Sift, who he describes as his angel. Despite having him,
he still struggles:
"There was a part of me that desperately wanted to close the gap I felt between myself and
people. But there was a bigger part that I could not understand. It was the part of me that
sought separation. It was the part of me that simmered quietly with rage I hadn't ever lost,
and a part of me that knew if the top ever came off of that, then I would truly be alone" (187).