HELP!!!

Esperanza feels her name implies incompleteness. She says it has the sense of expectation like the number 9 waiting to become something more, something clearer.

In English my name means hope. In Spanish it means too many letters. It means sadness, it means waiting. It is like the number nine. A muddy color. It is the Mexican records my father plays on Sunday mornings when he is shaving, songs like sobbing. ch 4