The Irony of Fernea's Reason in Moving
Fernea moves to El Nahra with her husband. Since he needed to conduct fieldwork in the village, he would have had to leave her behind otherwise. Fernea desires to be with him and to aid him in his research, so she agrees to move with him. Ironically, when she arrives in Iraq she is not allowed to spend much time with Bob because of the cultural customs preventing the fraternization of men and women. Instead, Fernea is dispatched to the women's social sphere and allowed very little contact with her husband.
The Irony of Pride
At first, Fernea is unsuccessful in making friends with the village women. In fact, she resents the way they judge her, but she comes to realize that she invited this sort of attention. She has harbored cultural prejudices without knowing it. She considered the local people to be less civilized and thus less capable than herself, so their judgement cuts really deep. When Fernea lets go of her pride, she comes to rely upon these same women for support and validation. They become her teachers.
The Irony of Marriage
One major revelation for Fernea is the Iraqi women's perspective on marriage. For Fernea, her husband is her family and her best friend. She's moved to a foreign country just to remain close to him. But these women have little to no relationship with their husbands, their unions being primarily political and economic and not generally the result of their own desirse; instead they find community among the other women. They are extremely close to one another and to their mothers and children, filling the role of friendship which Fernea's husband fills for herself. While Fernea values her marriage above her other relationships, these women place their marriage lowest in their list of intimate relationships.
The Irony of Harem Life
Based upon the freedoms she enjoys in America, Fernea expects the women of the harem to be depressed and unhealthy. She cannot imagine them happy with such a repressed life, but she quickly learns the opposite. These women demonstrate great joy, intelligence, and humor in their relationships. Having grown up in this culture always, they have adapted to be successful and to thrive, despite their social limitations.
The Irony of the Amateur
Fernea emphasizes that she is not a professional ethnographer. In fact this is the first sentence of the book! Nevertheless, the detailed attention which she pays her experiences and encounters of the Iraqi culture prove not only valid but insightful. Fernea has engaged with the local women meaningfully, allowing her to gain insight which otherwise would not have been provided. Her very inexperience makes her a non-threat to the women and allows her to be welcomed into the community as a participant, not just an observer. Thus Fernea's weakness in the writing of this book also is her strength.
