Love
Love is a broad theme both in life and in poetry; however, it is almost the only theme that really matters to Behn, as all of her poetry deals with love in one way or another. Behn is adamant that love is far more important than almost anything else, and that it is the only thing that will result in true happiness. In several of her poems the speaker and the protagonist both discuss the benefits of prioritizing love over work, entrepreneurialism and business, because the result will be both more fulfilling and it will also be more enduring.
Some of Behn's work has a more pastoral and almost kitschy romantic leaning; Cupid's arrows are a symbol to her of love, and in particular the kind of immediate love at first sight that makes people fall in love with each other. In Song. Love Arm'd she describes Cupid's incredible power to enamor people of each other when they least expect it. Song : The Invitation also revolves around Cupid's power to render one lovelorn, as the Speaker, who is attracted to the protagonist, who likes someone else, decides that she is going to intercept Cupid's arrows, thereby making him fall in love with her instead. The theme of love is in general very positive in Behn's work, and is not to blame for the lovesickness that can sometimes follow it; the blame for that falls on the individual and not on the feeling or emotion that love engenders.
Betrayal
The theme of betrayal is always addressed through the woman's perspective, Behn's voice clearly heard through the speakers of her poems. "A Ballad on M. JH to Amoret, asking why i was so sad" tells of a conversation between the Speaker, assumed to be Behn, and a woman named Amoret, in which the Speaker warns Amoret about love, and urges her to be careful, always to keep the upper hand and to make sure that the man loves her more than she loves him.
The Reflection is also a poem about betrayal; Marilyn Monroe once sang a song with the lyric "after you get what you want, you don't want it", and The Reflection is a strong example of this tendency in the male of the species, to pursue a woman who is not interested in him only to lose interest in her once she reciprocates his love. The woman is so bereft by the betrayal that she might as well die, because she has given herself so wholly to the man who has now rejected her that nobody else will be interested in her.
Homosexual Attraction
One of the recurring themes in Behn's poetry is romantic and sexual love between same sex couples. in Our Cabal she describes a friendship that is "Too Amorous for a Swain to a Swain", or in other words, an inappropriately sexually charged attraction between men. Mr. Ed. Bed describes a relationship between two men, Lycidas and Philander; Behn writes that Philander "nere paid a Sigh or Tear to any Maid...But all the love he ever knew, On Lycidas he does bestow", telling us that although he had never lost his heart to a woman at all, his love for Lycidas was all encompassing.
She also writes of lesbian love, particularly in the poem To the fair Clarinda, who made Love to me, inagin'd more than a woman. Behn shows how much the androgynous qualities for which she herself is praised matter to her. She was commended for having "a female sweetness and a manly grace" which led her to write about the unity of her masculine and feminine traits. She writes of loving only Clarinda's masculine traits which makes their relationship androgynous rather than truly a lesbian affair.
Women Uniting Against Men
Behn is of the opinion that any hurt caused in a relationship and in love is generally the fault of the man and not the woman. She writes from the perspective of a "girls' girl" and her poetry is often about warning other women not to get their hearts broken like she did. In Selinda and Cloris, the title characters make friends with each other to deal with a betrayal. Cloris warns Selinda about Alexis, who was unfaithful to her. Selinda responds by uniting with Cloris to essentially get their own back and to prevent Alexis hurting anyone else the same way. The women's friendship is built on a mutual respect and an agreed perspective on the reprehensible way in which men can sometimes behave. The theme of much of Behn's poetry revolves around the male tendency to lead a woman to love them only go grow bored after the conquest is successful, and leave the for the next young woman who catches their eye.
