“‘You won’t even be Chinese after your wife’s attorney gets through with you, Raymond,’ Raymond wondered if someone could be a lapsed Chinese in the same way people become lapsed Catholics. If Darleen took away her family from him and he ceased having the opportunity to be the dutiful Chinese son, would that make him a lapsed Chinese?”
The statement from Raymond’s lawyer, Sylvia, is intended as a bit of levity and to illustrate that he will come out of the divorce with the proverbial shorter end of the stick. The statement however causes him to think about his identity as Chinese as being tied to his ability to fulfill his duty to his family as expected in traditional Chinese culture. He also wonders that if he is no longer able to fulfill his duties to his family in the capacity they expect would that aspect of his identity simply cease to be?
“Never marry your first Chinese girlfriend.”
This quote is a good example of the quirky, off-beat humor that peppers the novel. After all the drama he goes through from his divorce with Darleen, he is understandably burnt bad and thinks it wise for any Chinese-American person considering marriage, especially if the union is with a fellow Chinese-American to think really thoroughly of this life decision as it will complicate matters in a ridiculous number of ways.
“The cooks don’t listen to me, Darleen. You don’t speak Cantonese. They understand English when your father speaks to them in English. He’s the boss. What am I? The son-in-law. Worse. The boss’s youngest daughter’s husband…”
This conversation captures the complicated interplay of context and sub-context that is present in the Chinese culture that has carried over all the way to the US. Darleen indirectly tells Raymond that he will always remain an outsider to the very restaurant staff that he is supposed to manage despite being ethnically Chinese himself. More than that however is the unspoken sub-context behind the kitchen staff’s disdain of him: they feel that he has been awarded rank over them by virtue of him marrying into the family and not his talent or educational attainment.
