Ken and the Balloon
After Ken has been killed, Hsu remembers once visiting Ken while he was working at the Nordstrom department store. When Hsu arrived in the store, he saw "Ken coming out from the storeroom in the back, carefully tying a balloon around his finger" (p. 178). Hsu watched as Ken carried the balloon “safely anchored to his finger, and smiled a goofy smile" (p. 177). Finally, Hsu watched as Ken “reappeared at the counter and handed it to the little boy waiting with his parents, and the child smiled an even goofier smile" (p. 177). The image of a smiling Ken handing the balloon to the child epitomizes his kind and good nature. Indeed, as Hsu writes, “I simply felt lucky to witness something so effortlessly kind—to see my friend do something that was good” (p. 178).
The Charles River on Ecstasy
One night while Hsu was a student at Harvard, he “took ecstasy on the banks of the Charles River" with his girlfriend Joie (p. 169). At first he feels nothing. Then, suddenly, he looked at the Charles River and saw that “it was no longer a river. There was no water, just an endless run of silver marbles rolling in slow motion" (p. 169). As Hsu continues, “I laughed, and my body expanded to the ends of the universe. Any sensation lingered and rippled forever; there was no border between our skin and the Cambridge humidity" (p. 169).
This is a vivid image of Hsu's experience taking ecstasy for the first time. It is particularly striking because for so much of the book he has abstained from taking drugs and alcohol. Just as he writes that his body "expanded," so too are his life experiences. In another sense, the image of the river as "an endless run of silver marbles rolling in slow motion" introduces a sense of enchantment or magic back into Hsu's life after the tragedy of Ken's murder.
The Image of Ken's Killers
Shortly after Ken is killed, suspects are arrested and a trial begins. Hsu and his friends attend some of the court proceedings. Hsu describes how the "the defendants looked vacant and desiccated as they shuffled in. The man was small with an unkempt Afro; he kept staring off into the distance. His girlfriend seemed as though she hadn’t slept for weeks. They were dressed in baggy tan uniforms” (p. 160). As Hsu writes, "it was unreal that they had the power to take a life" (p. 160).
Here, Hsu and his friends see the people who have senselessly taken their young friend's life. The scene is upsetting, particularly because the killer's do not seem entirely monstrous. As Hsu writes, "the one who had pulled the trigger looked shorter than me" (p. 160). While one could hope that seeing these criminals detained would bring a sense of peace or security, Hsu suggests that nothing could make up for the loss of his friend.
Hsu in the Prison Courtyard
After Ken's killing, Hsu works as a tutor at the San Quentin Prison and he develops a bond with a prisoner named Eddy. As he writes, “at the end of each night, we gathered in a courtyard to say our goodbyes. It was peaceful. Our students’ dark blue uniforms dissolved into the darkness... I felt safe; I hadn’t felt that way in a while. I looked up at the sky and thought about how it would look later that night, when I was smoking on my balcony" (p. 158).
This is a vivid and curious scene, particularly with the image of the prisoners' uniforms disappearing into the darkness. There is also a sense of irony in that Hsu is at a high-security prison surrounded by individuals who have committed crimes, yet he feels safe. Here, Hsu suggests that developing relationships with these prisoners has actually allowed him to find some peace in the aftermath of Ken's death.
