“He told me once that sometimes, with some people, it's not about winning or losing, That with some people, it's just about playing. Though for the longest time, I didn't really believe him.”
The Narrator recounts a conversation with their grandfather who imparted the wisdom that, in certain connections, the competitive dichotomy of winning or losing is secondary. Instead, the true significance lies in the act of engagement itself. This statement not only highlights the narrator's personal growth and evolving understanding but also implies a broader theme of shifting perspectives on the importance of connection, intimacy, and the intrinsic value of shared moments, irrespective of the conventional metrics of success or failure.
“In my experience, commitment leads to expectations, and expectations lead to lies, and hurt, and disappointment-stuff I'd rather not experience, or force others to experience.”
In the given quote, the protagonist reflects on their aversion to commitment, outlining a personal philosophy shaped by their past experiences. The assertion that "commitment leads to expectations" suggests a fear of the anticipations that come with being in a committed relationship, perhaps fearing the burden of meeting certain obligations. The protagonist articulates a reluctance to undergo such emotional turmoil again not only for their own sake but also out of consideration for potential partners. The protagonist prioritizes avoiding negative emotional consequences over the potential joys of commitment.
“Listen. I try hard not to learn things about the people around me, but . . . I’ve heard about your father. I know you take care of your family. I know you’re dealing with stuff like”—his chin points at my yard—“that rusty trampoline. But if you unzip your asshole and pry your head out of it, you might realize that there’s more to life than feeling sorry for yourself.”
In this quote, the character Oz confronts Mal, the protagonist, about her self-pity and lack of awareness regarding the challenges faced by those around her. Oz acknowledges that he generally avoids delving into other people's lives but has picked up on information about Mal's struggles such as her family responsibilities and the visible hardships in her yard like the rusty trampoline. By using the vivid metaphor of "unzipping your asshole and prying your head out of it," Oz is bluntly urging Mal to overcome her self-centered perspective. He challenges her to recognize that life extends beyond her difficulties and encourages her to embrace a broader understanding of the world.
“God bless libraries.”
The quote is a reflection of the protagonist's gratitude for the solace and resources found in a local library during a challenging period. After being abruptly fired from her job, the protagonist faces financial struggles and the daunting task of finding new employment. The mention of rediscovering the Paterson Public Library suggests that the library becomes a haven for her, offering a quiet and air-conditioned space where she can continue her job search using her laptop. The phrase highlights the role of libraries as valuable community resources of support.
