- Warren Tracey, 34-year-old pitcher New York Mets pitcher. He abuses alcohol, his wife, and his son. He is also known for hitting opposing batters and has a high enough opinion of himself to believe he was snubbed for the Major League Baseball All-Star Game.
- Paul Tracey, Warren's 11-year-old son. He is a modestly skilled Little League Baseball player and huge baseball fan.
- Joe Castle (known as "Calico Joe"), a promising 21-year-old rookie Chicago Cubs first baseman from Calico Rock, Arkansas who has posted career statistics of 21 home runs in 38 games and a career batting average of .488. He is a man of extreme virtue, who donates his signing bonus to a variety of charities.
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