I Am Not your Perfect Mexican Daughter

I Am Not your Perfect Mexican Daughter Summary and Analysis of Chapters 1-5

Summary

The novel opens as Julia Reyes, the story’s young narrator and protagonist, attends the funeral of her older sister. Julia is a first-generation American living in Chicago, and both of her parents are from Mexico. Julia’s sister, Olga Reyes, was killed suddenly after she was struck by a bus while crossing the street. Julia reflects on Olga’s seemingly chaste life, and she introduces the notion that Olga was their parents’ “perfect Mexican daughter.” Julia draws comparisons between herself and her sister. While Olga seemed to live life like a middle-aged woman though she was only 22, Julia is full of rebellious and youthful vitality. Julia is a notorious troublemaker, and she has a somewhat fraught relationship with her mother due to the disciplinary issues she experiences at school. At the funeral, Julia is wracked with guilt—she wishes she could go back in time and save Olga from her unfortunate fate.

Immediately following the funeral, Julia notices that her mother, whom she calls “Amá,” is unable to leave bed. Julia is disturbed by Amá’s change in behavior, since she is characteristically clean and composed. The house falls into a state of disarray, and Julia ventures out to get herself food. When she returns home, she finds Amá freshly showered and energetic. Amá suggests that Julia have a quinceañera, a traditional Mexican ceremony for a girl’s fifteenth birthday. Julia refuses Amá’s proposal, and she continues to ponder her mother’s rapid change in affect.

Julia explains that when she is unable to sleep at night, she ventures into Olga’s room and lays down in her bed. This is strictly against Amá’s rules, since she wants to preserve Olga’s bedroom as it was left at the time of her death. Julia looks at a picture of her with Olga, and she recalls memories of their youth. Julia remembers their trips to Mexico, and she thinks about how much closer they were when they were young children. While lying awake in Olga’s bed, Julia notices a post-it in the pillow. Written on it is the name of a prescription, along with the words “I love you.”

Curious, Julia ventures into Olga’s closet to snoop for more clues. In the closet, she finds lingerie and a hotel room key. This deeply confuses Julia, as it is in strong contrast to her previously-held conceptions of Olga. Julia frantically continues searching, hoping to find Olga’s computer. However, she falls asleep mid-pursuit. When she awakes, she finds Amá at Olga’s door. Julia is grounded for entering Olga’s room, and Amá changes the door’s locks to prevent Julia from entering ever again.

Back at school, Julia expresses her love for English classes with Mr. Ingman. She talks about her love for words and her aspiration to be a writer one day. The scene switches back to the Reyes’ home. Julia attempts to help Amá prepare flour tortillas, but she is unsuccessful. Amá compares Julia to Olga, who used to make perfectly circular tortillas. Amá’s comments frustrate Julia, and she leaves the kitchen in a huff. Back at school, Julia’s math teacher, Mr. Simmons, calls on her unexpectedly while she’s writing a poem. The two argue over Julia’s inattentiveness, and she angrily rushes out of the classroom. Before heading to the Continental Hotel to trace Olga’s whereabouts, she stops at a diner to get a bite to eat.

At the diner, the waitress asks Julia why she is not in class. Julia opens up to her, telling her about her teacher’s flippancy and Olga’s recent death. A random patron ends up paying for Julia’s cheese danish and coffee, and Julia makes her way to The Continental. Unfortunately, she is unable to find out any details about Olga from the hotel due to their privacy laws. Discouraged, Julia decides to visit a museum to lift her spirits.

A few days later, Julia decides to visit Olga’s best friend, Angie, in hopes of learning more about Olga’s supposed “double life.” Upon entering her house, Julia finds Angie in a state of disarray. Although she tries to ask why Olga had a key to The Continental, Angie is too upset to produce a response that Julia finds sufficient. The two begin to argue when Angie tells Julia she didn’t take enough interest in her sister while she was alive. They both settle down once they sympathize with one another and realize that they each struggle with their own grieving processes.

Julia decides to meet up with Lorena, her best friend. Although Julia often remarks on their differences, the two share an unlikely bond. Julia tells Lorena about the belongings she found in Olga’s room, and Lorena suggests that they search for Olga’s Facebook profile. Unfortunately, their search is once again unfruitful. Julia describes how Lorena’s father was killed while trying to cross the border illegally. She also explains that her mother’s new boyfriend, José Luis, has sexually assaulted Lorena on more than one occasion. The two smoke weed and fall into a fit of laughter, but their fun is interrupted when José Luis returns home from work unexpectedly early. A few days later, Lorena invites Julia to tag along during her date with Carlos. Carlos has a cousin who is a police officer, and Julia hopes he can help uncover some information about Olga. However, Carlos’s cousin doesn’t show up. Instead, Julia is set up on a date with his other cousin from Mexico, Ramiro. Although the two don’t get along at first, the night ends with Julia’s first kiss.

Analysis

In opening the novel with Olga’s body in the casket, Sánchez demonstrates the impact and pain of her death on the family. Olga is battered and bruised, and the image of her corpse haunts Julia for the remainder of the story. Julia is especially impacted by the dress that Olga is wearing, and Sánchez uses detailed visual imagery in order to demonstrate its shapelessness and tackiness. Julia’s preoccupation with Olga’s dress references her notion that something is being “covered up.” Julia thinks about all of the questions Olga left unanswered, and she remains convinced that there was more to her sister than the manicured image of perfection she upheld.

Following Olga’s death, it is clear that each member of the Reyes family copes with their grief in different ways. For Amá, Olga's death triggers past traumas. It is a poignant moment when Julia witnesses Amá become haggard and depressed. For the first time, she sees her mother acting differently than her uptight, neurotic self. Amá’s change in attitude reflects how Julia’s entire world has been upside down. Amá harbors feelings of anger, blame, and resentment, and she inappropriately places emotions onto Julia. Amá’s spiral is in strong contrast to Apá’s reaction, as he becomes increasingly withdrawn and absent.

Although Julia snooping in Olga’s room can be interpreted as crossing a boundary, it can also be seen as a coping mechanism for Julia’s grief. Although Olga has passed away, Julia finds comfort in her untouched bed and her manicured objects. In Olga’s room, Julia feels close and connected to the sister that she misses so much. Amá’s anger at Julia can represent how she is unable to empathize with her daughter’s grief. Following Olga’s death, it is clear that each family member is so blinded by their own sadness that they are unable to understand one another. When Amá locks the door to Olga’s room, Julia experiences another sense of mourning.

Julia’s relationship to Mr. Ingman introduces the theme of education as a path to opportunity. Although Julia has issues with authority figures, school is largely a grounding and stabilizing presence in the protagonist’s life. Mr. Ingman encourages and supports Julia, and he is one of the only characters in the novel who acknowledges how Olga’s death has impacted Julia’s mental health. Mr. Ingman sees Julia’s talents and encourages her to nurture her writing skills. Mr. Ingman also understands the limits to Julia’s life in Chicago, and he is eager to help her leave her community and pave a brighter future for herself. As the story progresses, Mr. Ingman becomes a foundational player in Julia’s college application process.

Lorena’s experience with her quasi-stepfather, Jose Luís, introduces the motif of sexual assault. Julia describes that many times these assaults happen within the family, blurring boundaries of community and safety. It is clear that many of the women in Julia’s life have been victims of this violence, and they are traumatized by their experiences. These attacks have long-term consequences. In Lorena’s case, we see how it affects the relationships she pursues as she explores her own sexuality.