Georgia Nicolson
The thirteen-year-old diarist-narrator and protagonist of the book. She introduces herself in a “Note” at the book’s beginning with a warning/advisory to American readers to beware of the robust dollops of slang which populates the lexicon of her entries. She even includes a very useful glossary of terms at the back. Reading the novel is not really that terribly far removed from reading Alex’s NADSAT narration of A Clockwork Orange and, in fact, the two characters share some—slight—similarities; both are snarky to the core, both are funny, and both are obsessed with their self-contained microcosmic world. Georgia, however, does not seem to be a psychopath though she is obsessed with breasts.
Jas
Georgia’s bestie is Jas. At the same time, however, Jas is also at times Georgia’s nemesis in weird way. It is a complex friendship filled with repetition, redundancy, and recurring battles that eventually get soothed over, usually just in time for the next fight between friends. Jas, like most other characters in the book, is a shortened nickname, in this case a time-biting version of Jasmine.
Robbie
Robbie also has a nickname and probably the best in the entire book: the Sex God. This is courtesy of Georgia’s total obsession with the Mini Cooper-driving slightly older boy. At the commencement of Georgia’s super-major-crush, Robbie is dating Lindsay, who is mature enough to account for the thongs of the title. But though she may have a leg upon on George when it comes to sexuality, she’s not really much of a rival when it comes to brains and personality. The question becomes, of course, does Robbie like personality as much as thongs.
Tom
Robbie has a brother who also has a nickname: Hunky. Hunky is the boyfriend of Jas and it is through Tom that Georgia actually comes to meet the Sex God. Unfortunately for Jas—and, by extension, her best friend—all does not go smoothly for Tom and Jas. What starts out with passion takes a devastating blow courtesy of the fact that these are, after all, pretty young characters experiencing their first go at romance.
Mutti and Vati
Also known as Mum and Dad. Dad is actually missing in action for a good bit because partway through he drops the bombshell that he is going to New Zealand to look for work. Of course, Georgia cannot help but make this more melodramatic than it should be since by that point it is very clear that Mum and Dad are not stuck in the typical trouble marriage. In fact, it is a refreshingly happy little domestic situation and one unlikely to be punctured simply by a trip around the world by one partner. Still, as with all kids, probably, Mutti and Vati are primarily objects to avoid in order to not be embarrassed or suffered perceived humiliations with the irony being that Georgia seems pretty much destined to grow up to become just like her mother.
