After Misha's father kills a prominent businessman from Oklahoma, the INS bars the entire Vainberg family entry to the United States, trapping Misha in his native Saint Petersburg, which he nostalgically refers to as "St. Leninsburg." Misha, a.k.a. "Snack Daddy" from his days at Accidental College, somewhere in the Midwestern U.S. (the college resembles Oberlin College, which Shteyngart attended, while the name is a play on Occidental College), is desperate to return to his true love, Rouenna, whom he met while she was working at a "titty bar" and who now attends Hunter College, at Misha's expense.

Misha's father is killed by a fellow oligarch. Soon after, Misha is given an opportunity to buy a Belgian passport from a corrupt diplomat in the fictitious ex-Soviet republic of Absurdsvanϊ (also known as Absurdistan).

Absurdistan's reputation for oil riches got it the title "Norway of the Caspian." Divided between two major ethnic groups, the Sevo and Svanϊ, whose mutual hatred stems from a dispute over which way the "footrest" of the Orthodox cross should be tilted, Absurdistan soon finds itself embroiled in civil war and Misha is forced to take sides on behalf of a new love.

Appointed "Minister of Multiculturalism," he is asked to petition Israel for funds, but he soon finds he is being played by the Sevo leader, who has, in fact, been in league with the Svanϊ leader all along.

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