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"Miss Havisham's house, which was of old brick and dismal, and had a great many iron bars to it. Some of the windows had been walled up; of those that remained, all the lower were rustily barred." (Part One, Chapter 8) Miss Havisham is lacking in money if not haughtiness. Her home resembles an unkempt prison.
I thought I heard Miss Havisham answer--only it seemed so unlikely, "Well? You can break his heart." (Part 1, Chapter 8). Miss Havisham doesn't like men; her predicament is to keep Pip away. She encourages in one way......... and then encourages heartbreak.
I'll tell you what real love is. It is blind devotion, unquesitoning self humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter--as I did (Part 2, Chapter 29). Estella is supposed to be hard to get (impossible if you will), not smitten. This is her warning and reminder.............
Remember that Miss. Havisham had been jilted on her wedding day years before, and that her one true desire in life is to void the world of all men. Estella is her smoking gun; the means by which she hopes to accomplish this, and she's not about to let all her work and preparation be destroyed by Pip or anyone else.