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When the play begins Olivia is in mourning and encompassed by grief over the death of her brother. The other characters see her mourning as ridiculous...... a young, beautiful girl shouldn't be shutting herself away from the world. She should be living.
As the play progresses, we see a witty, young woman, who is rather self-centered, but who also knows what is good for her and what's not. She sees Orsino's claims of love as insincere and believes him to be silly. But when she falls for Cesario, we see the real Olivia emerge. Funny and rebellious, she sees everything she's ever wanted in a man in her young servant. Unfortunate'y, he servant is really a girl disguised as a boy.
In the end, Olivia comes back into her own when she marries Sebastion. The social order and gender roles of the day are reclaimed when tradition wins out.