Why is it important for Cole to accept the responsibility for his actions and for his own life situation?

Cole needs to accept responsibility for his misdeeds if he is going to heal. Cole needs to understand himself before he understands others. I think that it is debatable when this actually happens. I think the second time that they are at the circle justice meeting, Cole is sincere about what he has done. After the meeting Cole wells up inside and says to Edwin and Garvey, "You two are the only ones who ever cared about me...I screwed everything up. I'm going to jail." By this time Cole is finally blaming himself for his deeds rather than his mother or father.