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Okonkwo finds Nwoye effeminate and weak. He finds his adopted son, Ikemefuna, has the traits of "manliness". I think it bothers Okonkwo to no end that his genetic son is the weak one. Nwoye is a constant reminder to Okonkwo of what he can't control. Okonkwo's eldest son is a reflection of himself which he despises, yet somewhere hidden far below his own soul recognizes.