their eyes were watching God
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Janie's growth and eventual realization of her true identity is found through the men she becomes involved with. I don't think her identity is based upon the men because her relationships change her own viewpoint of who she really is and what she wants.
Her relationship with Joe helps her to understand independence. Tea Cake allows Janie to see her true beauty, inside and out. He makes her feel like the beautiful woman she is, and he brings her out of her shell. Through her relationship with Tea Cake, she learns what it means to be happy.
Their Eyes Were Watching God