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Janie is struggling to find her own voice in the first part of the novel. Before marrying Mr. Killicks, she had the voice of a young girl. She had visions of life, love and sex born out of simply coming of age. Janie knew that she didn't share her grandmother's vision of life with Mr. Killicks. She also didn't know her voice when she took off with Joe Starks. I think she only began to find her own authentic voice when Joe Starks lay dying in bed.