Hector Quesadilla “The Hector Quesadilla Story”
The most fancifully named character in Boyle’s canon—arguably—managed to almost become a .300 lifetime hitter in the majors. His regular lineup days are a decade behind now, however, as he most sits on the Dodgers bench waiting for his opportunity to come as a pinch hitter. His dreams to go out on a mythically high note seem to come and go and come again…and that’s just in his final game!
Jane Austen "I Dated Jane Austen"
The most fancifully whimsical story in Boyle’s canon—arguably—is one in which a certain “Mr. Boyle” shows up for his 20th century date with a certain young Jane Austen. The date involves an Italian sex romp and a nightclub concert by a band with Nazi iconography. As for Jane, we learn primarily that her hands are cold.
Angelle “Balto”
The title refers to the famous Alaskan sled dog, but the story is about a father pressuring his young daughter to lie about who was behind the steering wheel during an accident. Though Angelle’s father has a DUI on his record already, what he’s really concerned about is the additional charge of child endangerment which would be dropped if she testifies she was driving. The crux of the drama is that if she refuses and instead tells the truth, she and her sister will be placed in foster care.
Irv Cherniske “The Devil and Irv Cherniske”
First came Faust. Then Tom Walker. Then Daniel Webster. And in Boyle’s hands, the story of a pact made with the devil is updated to America in the latter 20th century. This time around, the Faustian bargain-buyer is a fat, cynical, and thoroughly unpleasant forty-something stock trader with a wife named Tish and a Tudor house on Beechwood Drive.
Beatrice Umbo “The Ape Lady in Retirement”
Umbo is a fictional counterpart to women like Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey and her story speculates on what life might be like for those who study animal behavior in the wild after the decision to retire. The twist is that now comfortably settled back home in the suburbs, she finds herself suddenly taking in a chimpanzee named Konrad who was a lifelong participant in an experiment which has resulted in him behaving like a human: mainly binging on junk food and TV. She now must put everything she learned about animal behavior in the wild into practice to try to revert Konrad back to his natural state.
