Alcohol (Motif)
The subject of alcohol, particularly the over-consumption of alcohol, is a motif that runs throughout the book. From the start of his Wife Project, Don requires that his ideal partner be a non-drinker, but on realizing that he himself fell far from this category, he alters the "correct" desired answer on his questionnaire to "light social drinking." He spends a great deal of time telling the reader about his alcohol consumption and actually wonders for a time if he suffers from an addiction to alcohol. Alcohol is also the thread that initially binds Don and Rosie together; she works in a bar and is impressed by his knowledge and collection of wine. Don and Rosie, whilst searching for her father's identity, take on "undercover" bartending duties and Don is so successful at this that he is actually offered a partnership in a new cocktail bar that is opening up. The motif of alcohol connotes different meanings at different times, but it is used as a way to signal Don's relationship to control and spontaneity. At the start of the novel, he is very controlled about his alcohol consumption, tracking units and moderating them, but as he grows closer to Rosie, he becomes much more relaxed and drinks more regularly—and in greater quantities. The motif of alcohol also echoes the disinhibiting and "intoxicating" effect Rosie's company has on him: when he is around her, Don finds himself taking risks and doing things he would otherwise never do.
Rosie's Red Hair (Symbol)
From the very first time he meets her, Don is struck by Rosie's bright red hair. He does not realize that she dyes it this color until she tells him so. Rosie's hair is a symbol of her vibrant personality, her unconventional life, and her willingness to make bold choices. Rosie's hair draws a lot of attention and shows that she is not afraid to be noticed. She takes risks that many other people would not take, such as spontaneously going on a date with Don, embarking on the Father Project with him, and traveling to New York. It is important that her hair is dyed because this signals that Rosie makes her choices intentionally and fearlessly. She knows that not everyone would be willing to walk around with such striking hair, but she is happy to live her life on her own terms. These character traits become increasingly important because they reveal why Rosie is a good partner for Don. Someone who wanted to blend in, be inconspicuous, or not draw attention to herself would likely not be happy being with Don, but Rosie can boldly live life on her own terms and own her unconventional choices.
Music (motif)
Music is a significant motif in the novel; when Rosie first visits Don's apartment, he only has music by Bach. He does not even listen to this music for pleasure; he treats it as a puzzle to solve. Rosie gradually introduces Don to more popular music, and he also begins to have a different experience of listening to music for pleasure. Towards the end of the novel, when Don is feeling sad due to having been rejected by Rosie, he voluntarily listens to two popular music songs, one of which he remembers from his childhood. The motif of music shows Don's emotional progression throughout the story: he becomes more able to respond in emotional and creative ways, rather than relying on logic and reason alone. As Don becomes more attuned to his own emotions, he is able to enjoy music as a way to reflect on a shared emotional experience.
Gene's World Map (Symbol)
Gene has a map of the world pinned up on his office wall, and it has pins in many of the countries on it. This is symbolic of Gene's quest to have sex with women from every country in the world, and the pins mark his conquests thus far. The map is a symbol of Gene's social obliviousness: he literally treats women like objects (conflating the identity of an individual with a physical pin) and shows off his conquests. Gene doesn't even bother to try to hide his crass sexual preoccupation. He feels invincible because he has a high-status job, and his wife seemingly enables and tolerates his behavior. While Don is the man who is neurologically unable to respond to social cues and norms, Gene ignores social cues because he is arrogant and entitled.
Disneyland (Symbol)
For Rosie, Disneyland symbolizes a happy childhood and a loving and caring dynamic. For decades, Rosie has held a grudge against Phil because she feels disappointed that he never took her to Disneyland after promising to do so. This is actually a fairly trivial incident (Phil was a good parent in many other ways) but it becomes symbolic of Rosie feeling dissatisfied with Phil, and eventually believing that she would have a better relationship with her biological father. Rosie feels that she missed out on something but she displaces her feeling of loss. It is significant that Phil made the promise of Disneyland right after the death of Rosie's mother, at a time when both of them were extremely emotionally vulnerable. Rosie conflates the loss and lack of trust she feels after abruptly losing her mother with the idea of Disneyland, and she latches on to the idea that if Phil had honored his promise, she would have felt more secure and supported. When Phil, Don, and Rosie all go to Disneyland together at the end of the novel, the symbolism shows that Rosie has finally found her happy family and sense of emotional security—but this comes from her finding a loving partner and establishing her own family. Once she is happy with Don, Rosie can build a better relationship with Phil, but since she is an adult, what she truly needed was to move on and start to build her own family, rather than trying to find a new parent as she had imagined.
