Or is it the gods that control their lives?
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The characters in the Odyssey don't have the luxury of fee will. If people don't control other people, the Gods are pulling the strings way up on their clouds. Destiny is the only future that they have and that changes depending if one of the Gods is in a bad mood or not. Still, there is a connection between fate and destiny. Even the Gods can be convinced to change their minds especially since they share many fickle traits that humans have.