what are some similarities between the three parties in the first three chapters
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There is liquor at all of them: corky claret at Tom and Daisy's, whisky (two bottles) at Tom's love nest with Myrtle, and lots of champagne and liquors so old the guests are too young to remember their names. There is an increasing level of drunkeness at each of these. No one is drunk at the Buchanan's, there's a drunken argument at Tom and Myrtle's, and lots of tipsiness at Gatsby's first party in Chapter Three.
Nick is at each party, and there is an overlapping cast: Jordan is not in Chapter 2 but reappears in three; Tom is in 1 & 2.
Illicit love is behind the scenes in all of the parties. Myrtle calls up (maybe) at the Buchanans and Daisy flirts, but not seriously, with Nick, and she proposes lokcing Jordan and Nick up in a closet (just a joke) in 1; in Chapter 2, Myrtle is Tom's mistress and he fucks her while Nick is out getting something; in Cahpter 3, women have arguments with men said to be their husbands and Jordan seems odds allured by the three girls in yellow, etc.