The Desire to Be Known
Iris arrives at a very simple truth at the end of her book. Through all the ups and downs and crazy choices, she realizes that what she wanted more than anything was to be truly known by somebody. She longed to be understood. Looking back, she wishes she could have saved herself a lot of heartache and realized that that is the only thing she ever really wanted. That's why she wrote the book. It's her confession. It's her way of showing all the people she knew just exactly who she is through admitting all the things she's done. She's correcting misperceptions and confessing secrets so that everyone can know the truth of who she is.
Legacy
Iris is concerned with her legacy as she's dying. Aimee, her daughter, is dead now. Her sole surviving relative is her granddaughter, to whom she entrusts her autobiography. Like most people, Iris does not want to leave the world without having left some enduring mark of her existence. Writing on her deathbed, she's attempting to make something which will outlast her frail body. She's leaving this book to her descendants as an inheritance, which may be considered the most true inheritance of all since it is an honest account of her life events. Instead of leaving money or fame, she leaves all she has -- the life she's lived. She writes about what it feels like to see your entire life laid out for you right before your time is up, what sorts of things you regret and what sorts of things you are proud of. Her contribution is experience, and the wisdom that comes from life lived.
Despair
Although she always remained decisive and vivacious, Iris was surrounded by people who struggled with despair. They lived reckless, selfish lives which landed them in awful places. Her lover, Alex, was killed in the war. Despite his having been her lover, he was also Laura's beloved. Upon hearing the news, Laura loses all hope and kills herself. She had been blackmailed and raped by Iris' husband, Richard, for years all in the hopes of saving Alex. Then she learned that he died anyway, and there was nothing she could've done to bring him home from the war. Similarly, Iris tells Richard that Laura was the one who had an affair with Alex, not her. Since Laura was the sister he really wanted all along, Richard too gives up and kills himself. He had wrecked Laura's life so badly that she despaired, and then upon learning that she never loved him (duh!) he lost it. All these people around her suffer breakdowns, but Iris, who is often the cause of their pain, remains strong. She gives up on a lot of things, but she endures until her final deathbed, when the release of confessing everything in her memoir finally brings her peace.
