according to the analects how should a gentleman conduct himself
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According to the Analects, a son should treat his parents gently and with respect.
"In serving his parents, a son may remonstrate with them, but gently; when he sees that they are not disposed to acquiesce, he should show increased reverence but not give up; and, should they punish him, he ought not to murmur."
I will need to look further for the first part of your question.
The Analects of Confucius