Paul's relationship with women
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Paul is one confused boy/man. His first and one true love is his mother, and she would create the causes and effects for any relationship he wants to embark on. After Arthur leaves for school and William dies, Paul gets sick. His mother nurses him back to health and the two forge an intense bond of love and trust.
When also meets Miriam during his illness......... she falls madly in love with him; he can't figure out how he feels about her, and his mother HATES her. She feels as if Miriam is stealing away her son, but she doesn't have a chance. Paul enlists in the army and hedges with Miriam. Soon, Paul realizes that his first love is his mama, and he finally tells Miriam that he can never marry her, nor can he ever leave his mother. His relationship with his mother is successful because he puts her first and because she's a pro at manipulating him. On woman down.......... mother wins! But not for long....... Paul decides that what he and Marian's relationship is lacking so they embark on a sexual partnership, which is closely followed by a proposal. Miriam says NO, that they're too young.......... this round goes to Miriam; Paul loses.
Then Clara comes along. He's intrigued......... he loves that she dislikes men, but he hates it too. They have passion and enjoy each other's company. But Paul's still sitting in the starting box; he knows he can never have a real relationship as long as his mother is alive. Clara goes back to her estranged husband, and once again Paul is left alone with his mom.
The story ends with Paul's mother's death, an assisted suicide. Afterwards, he too considers suicide; that's how deep his grief is. Miriam tries to console him and suggests they marry; he turns her down and realizes that he will just 'always love his mother.' I guess in the end, his mother has really won, as he chooses to live life alone than with another.
Sons and Lovers
Short answer........... he only has one successful relationship (with his mother), and that relationship dooms all others.
Paul's mother was so self-centred women she spoiled Paul's and made him personality so confused that's why Paul never satisfied himself with any other women.