how paul sees the women.their contradicting nature.
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Paul's "use" of women entirely results from his relationship with his mother. Neither one of his relationship, with either Miriam or Clara is successful for the mere reason that no one can compete with the perfection of his mother, and the fact that his mother promotes those feeling in him. He's a mama's boy, and mama is going to keep him that way.
Paul is torn in two directions with both of these women; he loves them, and then he hates them. Miriam is giving, virginal even. She was his first love, and she loves him dearly, but he loves her in a spiritual sense rather than a romantic sense.
Clara on the other hand has captured him sexually. They enjoy a physical relationship rather than a spiritual one. Where Miriam is a young girl, Clara is an older woman. Miriam would sacrifice anything for Paul, and yet Clara still wants to reunite with her estranged husband. Paul doesn't see the feelings Clara has for her husband at the beginning of their affair, but as time goes on he no longer sees her as a mystery and she no longer interests him.
His relationship fails with Miriam because she is too sacrificial and virginal to claim him as hers, whereas it fails with Clara because, it seems, she has never given up on her estranged husband. However, the major reason behind Paul's break-ups is the long shadow of his mother; no woman can ever equal her in his eyes, and he can never free himself from her possession.
Sons and Lovers
Sorry, missed this source!