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Written by Timothy Sexton
Jerry is bass fiddle player who witnesses the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre along with his sax-playing best friend Joe. Initially reluctant to dress up like a woman to join a girl band as a way of escaping the notice of the mobsters hot on their trail, he comes around when his alter ego, Daphne, is soon surrounded by scantily clad beauties in the tight confines of a passenger train sleeper cabin. Fun-loving Daphne attracts the leering eye Osgood Fielding III, one of the aging, wealthy snowbirds who call the hotel employing the all-girl band their winter home.
Joe is the one who comes up with the idea of escaping the clutches of the mob by joining an all-girl band, but with the intention of quickly dumping the band once they hit Florida. In his disguise as Josephine, however, Joe falls for the sexy leader singer of the band, Sugar Kane. Once the band gets to Florida, instead of dropping their female personas, Joe takes on yet another disguise—this time as a wealthy heir to an oil tycoon—as he tries to seduce Sugar.
Sugar Kane is the somewhat ditzy, but undeniably sexy leader singer for the all-girl band that Jerry and Joe join while disguised as Daphne and Josephine. Sugar sums up her life in a poetically succinct way: she always winds up with the fuzzy end of the lollipop. A girl with a spot too soft for tenor sax players who always wind up hurting her, she seems to have found the man of her dreams in the Shell Oil heir who talks just like Cary Grant that she literally trips over on the beach. Unbeknownst to Sugar, he is not only her new galpal Josephine, but also another tenor sax player.
Joe E. Brown
Osgood Fielding III
Osgood Fielding III is one of the many very old and wealthy men who call the hotel where the all-girl band that Joe and Jerry have joined have been booked home for the winter. Young women flock to the hotel in search of sugar daddies and sugar daddies gather there to find young women. The young woman in the band who catches the eye of Osgood Fielding III happens to be Daphne, which presents certain problems the other men don’t face, but not one so enormous that the besotted Osgood finds too imperfect to overcome.
Jerry and Joe don their disguises as Daphne and Josephine because they were in the mother of all wrong place at the wrong time scenarios: the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. As the only living witnesses not actually involved in the crime, their futures are the mercy of mob boss Spats Colombo’s…mercy. Colombo is based upon real life architect of the actual St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, Al Capone. Of course, there is one enormous difference between the real life gangster and his movie equivalent. While Spats is able to recognize the two unlucky musicians due to actually being inside the garage where the shooting spree took place, Al Capone conveniently arranged to be in Florida at the time of the massacre.
Detective Mulligan is eager to pin the garage murder spree on mob boss Spats Colombo. So eager that he joins Jerry, Joe and Spats at the very same hotel in Florida where all the film’s myriad subplots and relationships comes to a satisfying climax.
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